<<<... Resentment and anger at unfair treatment -Sometimes, we take out our own anger and frustrations on our children. We may yell at our children for being noisy when the real reason is we are angry about something that happened at work. We all do this kind of thing occasionally, but if we do it all the time, our children will respond with resentful and angry behaviour of their own. frustration from too much pressure to perform -Sometimes we push our children to achieve too much too soon. If a child is always being pressured to do things, like stand up on skates before he/she is physically ready or play games that are too difficult for his/her age, he/she may refuse to learn new things at home or slack off at school. fears: real or imaginary - If your child suddenly refuses to do things that he/she used to do, it may be because of a real or imagined fear. For example, your child may suddenly refuse to get on the school bus because he/she has been frightened by a larger, hostile child who has started taking the same bus (real), or it may be a case of resisting going to bed because "there's a Tyrannosaurus Rex in the closet!" (imaginary).
What can you do to change difficult behaviour?
The most important things you can do are to be patient, avoid losing your temper and remember that love is more persuasive than punishment. Before you act, try to think a few things through - ask yourself questions. Then, act as calmly and as thoughtfully as you can. Does my child know that he/she is loved? Make sure your child knows that you love him/ her, and it does not hurt to tell them over and over again. Love brings love in return, and it is a lot harder for anyone, child or adult, to behave in ways that will hurt someone he / she loves. Is it necessary for my child to do this, or is it OK for him/her to choose? Obviously, there are times when you can give your children no choice. Unsafe, destructive, dishonest or rude behaviour has to be corrected, and children must learn what the limits are. However, leave some reasonable choices to your children - what to wear, what to eat for breakfast (as long as it is healthy!) and how to schedule time for homework and play... more>>>